Lately, I’ve had a new perspective on studying and school in general. I’ve come to realize that life is too short for me to spend my time worrying about my next quiz. That there’s more to life than SAT practice tests, theses, and too many nights filled with cramming. In my life of 15 years, I’ve never really thought of school this way. I’ve always worked hard in school; I’ve never questioned its importance. Until now.
I’ve realized that I spend all my days the same way. I wake up, go to school, come home and spend the rest of my day doing homework and studying. If you asked me four years ago what would I be doing with my life in high school, I wouldn’t have answered with this. I would’ve probably answered with, “doing dumb teenage stuff” or “spending time with my friends, hanging out at the beach, and taking risks.” I wouldn’t have said: “spending my days filling out worksheets, writing meaningless essays, and studying for my upcoming tests.” I’ve come to realize that life is much more than this.
Life is short. Life has its ups and downs. If I was to live every day as if it was my last, I wouldn’t be so focused on homework and tests. I would be out traveling and exploring. I would take risks and try new things. I would be outside, not stuck inside typing away at my computer. I say this as I continue to do these things every single day. I wonder to myself why don’t I just stop trying in school, then. Why don’t I just drop out or give up? I think it’s because of the pressure I’ve dealt with my whole life. I’ve always dealt with teachers telling me to go to college, otherwise, I’ll be working at McDonald’s. I’ve always dealt with my family’s constant pressure to do good in school so I can live a happy life.
But, what if my life ended tomorrow? Or next week? Or in a year? Would I have lived my happy life?
I only started to wonder about the importance of living my life when I asked myself what my future self will think. Will future-me regret spending all my time on homework and studying? Will future-me regret not doing spontaneous things while I was still young? I’ve learned that school should not make up my life. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t stress and worry so much. I’ve learned that I should spend time with my friends and family before it’s too late. I should go out into the world and live my life. I should go outside, take a jog, lay in the sun, or have a random trip to an unexpected place.
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
I’ve also learned that the main goal of my education is to get good grades and go to college. Every teacher I’ve known has preached this. Every peer of mine has followed this or tried their best to. What if that wasn’t really the goal? What if our real goal was to find ourselves? As young people, we often feel lost and confused about what we want to do in life. At such a young age, we are asked what we want to do for the rest of our lives. We are expected to be the best in this subject while showing good performance in other areas as well. This shouldn’t be our goal. Our goal should be to live our lives, to educate ourselves, not on math formulas and document-based questions, but in being social, learning about different cultures, and exploring new areas. Our goal should be to be happy.
“Searching means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.”
Back to the point, my path has always been to achieve happiness. This is something passed down from my parents, but something I instill within myself, too. This path consists of graduating college, finding a good job, and… That’s all I’ve come up with. How do I know for sure that college will lead me to happiness? That’s the thing, I don’t know. I do know that college will lead me into a spiral of more stress, years of debt, and a separation of everything I’ve known. I’ll have to leave the town I grew up in, live by myself, meet new people, all while I transition into adulthood. All my childhood, the innocence and naiveness that came along with it, will be left behind. All the wishes I had as a child, won’t come true. I don’t know where my path will lead me. I don’t know if I will achieve happiness by being accepted into my dream college or getting a good job. I don’t know if living my life to the fullest and not focusing on the entirety of school will lead me to happiness either.
“Whither will my path yet lead me? This path is stupid, it goes in spirals, perhaps in circles, but whichever way it goes, I will follow it.”
To conclude my rant on my newfound perspective on school, life is short so live it.
Find ways to be positive in everything you do.
Take breaks every now and then to focus on your health, both physically and mentally.
Don’t focus too much on school or studying or homework or tests. Those things are meaningless and won’t mean anything 10 years from now.
Take in the beauty of the world, of nature and all the little things you overlook on a daily basis.
I have made a promise to myself to still work hard in school because I want to make my family proud and I have hope that this education will someday lead to happiness. However, I want to write down a highlight of my day, something little or big that made me happy, whether it be laughing with my friends or seeing an orange butterfly. Also, to take risks and be spontaneous because one day I’ll lose the opportunity to do so.
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